ConMama: The Musical
by inge-loves-lost
Summary: A crazy LostGilmore Girls crossover, where Sawyer and Claire live in Stars Hollow... Warning: Soooo silly...
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Back to the 'real world'**

**AN: DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUS! **

**This takes place six months after they were rescued, and everything is settled…**

**I don't own Lost, or Gilmore Girls… I wish I owned them… Owning Jess and Sawyer… Pfew… I'd LOVE that…**

**Oh yeah, I don't own 'As long as you love me' by the Backstreet Boys… Don't even want to… (I completely agree with Sawyer on that point)… **

**I do own the character of Frank Johnson btw… **

**Oh yeah, please R & R… Thanks!**

The stupid raft worked, Sawyer thought. He couldn't believe it, but it worked. They made it, found a ship, told their story. And everyone believed it too, which was totally weird. The story included polar bears, crazy French chicks and a hatch. Who would believe that? Well, it worked out for everyone. They got rescued, and transported to LA.

Everyone found a place. Michael and Walt got to Michael's place, Jin and Sun found their place too. Shannon and Sayid moved in together, after a lot of anger from Boone's mom Sabrina. Charlie did a comeback with his stupid band, with Claire and Aaron there too, according to what was told to Sawyer. Even Jack and Kate were happy. They moved in together, and Kate didn't have to go to jail. Sawyer had no idea why, but it was true. And now he was the only one left, and he was kind of lonely. He had no place to go, to live. He wanted to go back to Australia, but he couldn't.

"James," Frank said. "I found you a place to live."

Frank Johnson was his lawyer. The irony of the name Frank was irritating Sawyer most of the time, and he didn't like the man a lot.

"Oh Golly," Sawyer said. "What kind of shitty place is it this time?"

Most of the places Frank found were or nothing for Sawyer, or nobody wanted Sawyer in the town. Must be hard finding a place for a Conman, Sawyer thought with a smirk.

"Don't be like that James," Frank said, looking frustrated. "The place is called Stars Hollow. It's a quiet place, with nice people. And the town doesn't know about you being a criminal, so you don't have to worry about you getting kicked out. As long as there's someone in the village with a connection to the police, you can stay unnoticed. The one who's in the village is not an agent, him or her is just there in case something goes wrong."

Golly, he was getting a babysitter. That was going to be so much fun! Sarcasm was his savior now. Someone watching over him, seeing if he wasn't doing anything criminal? That was pathetic, even for Frank's doing!

He turned on the radio, and what he heard then shocked him. And he was incredibly grossed out by it. Jack singing Backstreet Boys songs to Kate? Disgusting!

"Ladies and gentlemen, here's everyone's favorite doctor, Jack Shephard with his song to his 'bad' girlfriend Kate Austin. Here's 'as long as you love me'. Listen and enjoy."

You have got to be kidding me, Sawyer thought. Everyone's favorite doctor? Jack sure wasn't Sawyer's favorite. Taking Freckles, and thinking he's the man.

"_Although loneliness always has been a friend of mine  
I'm leaving my life in your hands  
People say that I'm crazy and that I'm blind  
Risking it all in glance"_

Disgusting! Sawyer just wanted to throw up, the song was incredibly sappy. And another bad thing was: Jack couldn't sing that well. Sawyer could sing much better, but that was a thing nobody knew of him. He secretly always wanted to be a singer, and now Jack stole his dream from him. That was even worse then stealing Kate  
_"How you got me blind is all a mystery  
I can't get you out of my head  
Don't care what is written in your history  
As long as you're here with me"_

Ouch, wrong again! Jack really couldn't sing at all!  
_"I don't care who you are  
Where you're from  
What you did  
As long as you love me  
Who you are  
Where you're from  
Don't care what you did  
As long as you love me"_

Sawyer wanted to turn the radio off, but Frank stopped him. Frank probably liked the song, Sawyer thought. In Sawyer's opinion, that was pretty impossible.  
_"Every little thing that you have said and done  
Feels like it's deep within me  
Doesn't really matter if you're on the run  
It seems like we were meant to be"_

Could it get even more sappy? Yuck…  
_"I don't care who you are  
Where you're from  
What you did  
As long as you love me  
Who you are  
Where you're from  
Don't care what you did  
As long as you love me"_

Frank started singing along. And that was just as bad as Jack singing. Sawyer put his hands on his ears, but he could still hear the song.

"I've tried to hide it so that no one knows  
But I guess it shows  
When you look into my eyes  
What you did and where your comin' from  
I don't care, as long as you love me, baby."

Was it louder now? Oh man… Frank apparently turned up the radio. And that damn guy was singing louder and louder, while Jack was out of key once more.  
_"I don't care who you are  
Where you're from  
What you did  
As long as you love me  
Who you are  
Where you're from  
Don't care what you did  
As long as you love me"_

Thank God, that torture was over. This was even worse than the bamboo thing that Ali did to him on the island. And that was bad…

"So Frankie," Sawyer said. "When do I leave?"

He wanted to get away from Frank. And he definitely hoped that village didn't knew the terrible song he just heard. He hoped they didn't have radio or television, so they wouldn't recognize him as "the guy who lived". He wasn't frigging Harry Potter! Just so you know, he got contacts, instead of that awful glasses Sayid and Jack made him.

"We leave tomorrow," Frank said. "I'm driving you there. Just to make sure you arrive, and don't disappear or vanish."

What happened to trusting people, Sawyer thought. Okay, he would leave when he had the chance, just to get out of this mess he got himself into. He should have never went to Australia. Then he wouldn't have killed that innocent man, he wouldn't have crashed on the island, and he wouldn't have met… Mamacita! The only person that actually had been nice to him in a long time. He liked her, flirted with her a bit. Not that much of course, cause she was pregnant, and the has been was after her. He smiled at the thought of her. It was just sad he would probably never see her again. How would he live without her?

Since when did he become a drama queen? Yuck…


	2. On the road to Stars Hollow

Chapter 2: (On the road to) Stars Hollow

**AN: I do not own the usual stuff… And I do not own "tomorrow"… Though the idea for the song "Stars Hollow" is completely mine… The stuff about Sawyer's singing obsession is completely made up… Remember: R & R**

He had been sitting in that car for hours now, but finally they were almost there. "Stars Hollow: 1 mile" the sign said. Just when Sawyer let out a sigh of relieve, he thought he heard singing from somewhere. After checking the radio, he looked out the window.

"_The sun'll come out  
in Stars Hollow  
Bet your bottom dollar _

_That in Stars Hollow  
There'll be sun!"_

What kind of sick song was this? Of course Sawyer knew the song "Tomorrow", but this one was a psycho version of it. Singing about the town? Who would do that?

Then he saw the villagers. They were all singing along, except for 2 women and a man, who were pretending to sing along, while they were sharing knowingly looks and laughed. The women could have been mother and daughter, and the man could have been the father of the family. He looked kind of grumpy. Sawyer thought that they might just become friends. In that situation, Sawyer would do the same thing. He loved to sing, but wasting his talents on a stupid song like that? No way!  
_"Just thinkin' about  
Stars Hollow  
Clears away the cobwebs,  
And the sorrow  
'Til there's none!"_

Sawyer was also thinking about the town. About how he could get away from there as soon as possible. He desperately tried to ignore the song, and the crazy villagers, but it didn't work. The song couldn't be ignored.  
_"When I'm stuck in a day  
That's grey,  
And lonely,  
I just stick out my chin  
And Grin,  
And Say, Oh"_

Ouch, out of key! Sawyer made a face, and tried not to listen to it again.  
_"The sun'll come out  
in Stars Hollow  
So ya gotta hang on  
'Til Stars Hollow  
Come what may"_

Hanging on till that psycho town? He had to live there. He would probably be going nuts before the end of the day. Sawyer couldn't get why anyone would want to live in a town like that. Or were the villagers all psycho in the same way? He didn't knew.  
_"Stars Hollow!  
Stars Hollow!  
I love ya  
Stars Hollow!  
You're only _

_A mile away!"_

Sawyer looked at Frank; shot him a mad look. If he wouldn't find anything that was okay about this town anytime soon, he would get away, no matter what Frank would do. He couldn't live in a town like that. Well, maybe that family was nice. They were probably only slightly insane, just as Sawyer was. And still am, he thought and smiled.


	3. Friends and weirdness all around

Chapter 3: Friends and weirdness all around

AN: I don't own, so don't sue… I don't own Grease nor the song 'Summer Nights'… The idea for 'Island Nights' is completely mine… Please R & R… And remember, this is all a joke, DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY! Claire's singing obsession is just this crazy thing I made up… 

**The shopping and pick-up lines are by Giantpanda… The story is called "Pick me up"… Go read it, it's wonderful…**

I'm nuts, bear with me, lol… 

She liked this town. It was pretty quiet, and the people seemed alright. Crazy, but alright. She knew that Sawyer was coming there too that day. She knew because she was the one to watch he wouldn't do anything criminal or just plain stupid. It was stupid of her to take the job, she knew that, but it wasn't like she had other options open. Well, except from staying with Charlie, which she really didn't wanted to do.

Claire liked the town. It was good for her, and for Aaron. And of course, she didn't mind being near to Sawyer. She fell in love with him on the island. She knew that shouldn't have happened, but it wasn't like she could help it.

"Hi Sunshine," someone said. Claire looked around. Was it Sawyer? He was always into the nicknames. No wait, it couldn't be him. It was a woman's voice.

She spotted Lorelai, who came walking in her direction. Claire already became friends with her, cause she was funny and very nice. And after meeting Rory and Luke, Claire decided she liked the whole family. Rory offered to baby-sit Aaron sometime, and Lorelai recommended Luke's diner, because of the coffee.

"Hi Lorelai," Claire said. "What are you up to today?"

Lorelai was usually a pretty busy person, working in the Inn or just busy with her family. Claire saw that after only two weeks of knowing her.

"Not much," Lorelai responded. "Michel sent me home. So, you want to talk?"

Lorelai wasn't doing anything? Well, that definitely was a miracle.

"Sure," Claire said.

"Let's talk guys," Lorelai said. "On that island, were there any cute guys?"

Would she tell about Sawyer? She should, but when he was coming there? She didn't knew, then decided to tell.

"Well, there was this really hot guy…"

Rory joined their group, then more women from the village. Claire thought it was all very weird, but she didn't mind.

He entered this diner, called "Luke's diner" or something like it. Sawyer looked at the man behind the counter, and noticed it was the grumpy man he saw before.

"Spotted you not singing," Sawyer said to him, as the man looked up. "Hi, I'm Sawyer, but you can call me James. I'm new in town. You are?"

The man started to smile, then him and Sawyer shook hands.

"Luke Danes," the man said. "Owner of this little diner."

Sawyer looked around in the diner. It seemed like a nice place to be, to eat or just hang out and talk to your friends.

"Can I get a coffee," Sawyer asked.

Luke started laughing, and he wondered why. What was so weird about asking for a cup of coffee? Some weird town ritual or something?

"Sorry," Luke said. "It's just that my girlfriend asked the same thing when I first met her. Now I'm probably never getting rid of you too."

Sawyer chuckled. His girlfriend was probably a coffee-freak, just like him. He replaced his smoking for a coffee-addiction, which was probably not very good for him, but he really didn't gave a damn about it.

"You're girlfriend is the brunette I saw you with," Sawyer said. "And the girl is your kid or something? I don't know."

Luke laughed, and so did Sawyer. He liked Luke, they had a similarity in character.

"Yep, that's Lorelai," he said. "But Rory is not my daughter. She's Lorelai's. I wish she was my daughter sometimes, but her father is Christopher, an ex of Lorelai. You have a girlfriend James? Or wasn't there someone on that island."

Complicated little family, Sawyer thought. But everyone probably knew about him being on the island. Probably have the local gossip to thank for that.

"There was this girl," Sawyer said. "On the island. But she wasn't my girl."

Why did he suddenly feel the urge to sing a song about it? Weird…

"Tell me," Luke said.

A lot of men joined their group. Sawyer started to sing.

_SawyerIsland loving had me a blast_

Claire suddenly felt the urge to sing. She loved singing, but never did it, because she was way too shy for it. She dared to now…_  
ClaireIsland loving happened so fast_  
Mamacita sure was a wonderful girl, Sawyer thought. She liked him…

_SawyerI met a girl crazy for me  
_Sawyer was just so hot, Claire thought. She just couldn't forget about him.

ClaireMet a boy cute as can be  
It felt as he could hear Claire singing with him. But that wasn't possible…

_BothIsland days drifting away, to oh oh the Island nights_  
Suddenly, one of the guys in his group started to sing…

Jackson  
Well-a well-a well-a huh  
Tell me more, tell me more  
Did you do a lot?  
Then, miss Patty started singing. That woman just loved showbiz, Claire thought. It was just so funny to see her, an older woman in a showbiz outfit, singing along with her.

Miss Patty  
Tell me more, tell me more  
Like was he very hot?  
Sawyer suddenly remembered the fish incident.

_SawyerShe came by me, I offered her fish_  
His smile, his winks. Claire remembered it all. She thought he liked her.

ClaireI knew he liked me, that's how it is  
He wouldn't tell the whole town he was in love with a then pregnant woman, now a single mom. They probably wouldn't understand.

_SawyerI helped oh baby, and made her smile  
_He'd help her out, reading to Aaron. She was the only one who got to see his softer side.

_ClaireOh how he'd help me, just for a while_  
It felt like he was singing along with her all the time. Weird…

_BothIsland sun, something's begun, but oh oh the Island nights_  
Then, Sookie started singing. Lorelai already told her Sookie was her best friend, that she was married to Jackson and they had a son called Davey. She also told Claire Sookie was pregnant again, which caused mood swings and weird cravings for her.

_Sookie  
Well-a well-a well-a huh  
Tell me more, tell me more  
Was it love at first sight?_  
This teenage guy started singing. Sawyer thought he must've been in a band.

_Zack  
Tell me more, tell me more  
Did she put up a fight?_  
Teenagers, always the same. That boy reminded Sawyer of himself, always about sex!

_SawyerTook her shopping, I know she liked it  
_After he took her shopping, she fell in love with him. That crazy pick-up lines…

_ClaireOh I liked him, I couldn't hide it_  
He only kissed her this one time, just before he left on the raft.

_SawyerMaking out, so hot, oh baby_  
That kiss, just before he left.

_ClaireOh he had me feeling so crazy_  
He really fell for her, but he would just go on, and pretend it wasn't that big.

_BothIsland fling, don't mean a thing, but oh oh the Island nights_

Now, Luke started to sing. He had a nice singing voice, Sawyer thought.

_Luke  
Well-a well-a well-a huh  
Tell me more, tell me more  
Was she all very sweet_  
In Claire's group, Lorelai started singing. She had a sweet voice, Claire thought.

_Lorelai  
Tell me more, tell me more  
Did he make you coffee_  
Lorelai was really a coffee-freak, Claire thought and smiled.

_ClaireHe got friendly, holding my hand_  
That kiss was one hell of a kiss, Sawyer remembered. On the beach, trying to have nobody watching them. That was hot!

_SawyerShe got friendly down in the sand_  
Sawyer always acted so tough, Claire thought. Nobody ever saw his softer side, except for her. And Kate, but she didn't find that out until a lot later.

_ClaireHe was sweet, as rough as he seems_  
It was really hot, that kiss. Too bad they were interrupted…

_SawyerWell she was good you know what I mean_  
It felt like Claire was just standing next to him, and she was singing along.

_BothIsland heat, boy and girl meet, but oh oh the Island nights_  
One of Rory's friends, Claire thought her name was Lane, started singing.

_Lane  
Tell me more, tell me more  
How much stuff did he spend?_  
And now a weird looking guy started singing, in this terrible voice. Almost like Charlie, Sawyer thought and smirked.

Kirk  
Tell me more, tell me more  
Could she get me a friend?

Obviously, that guy was still single. He was nuts! But Luke responded about Lulu. Who was she? His girlfriend? Poor girl…

_Luke (what about Lulu?)_  
Claire remembered when it all ended. He left, and then the rescue came…

_ClaireWe got rescued - that's where it ends_  
When he left, he told her everything was going to be okay. He lied… He wasn't even sure he was ever going to see her again.

_SawyerSo I told her we'd still be friends_  
Claire remembered him promising he wouldn't forget her. Yeah right…

_ClaireThen we made our true love vow_  
Where would Claire be now, Sawyer wondered.

_SawyerWonder what she's doing now_  
Where would Sawyer be now, Claire wondered. She missed him. A lot. So much, her heart was breaking at the thought of him. Oh no, Drama Queen…

_BothIsland dreams ripped at the seams, but oh those Island nights_  
Then, a massive choir joined. It looked like one of those cheesy movies, Sawyer thought. But hey, what the heck, it was probably the end of the song.

_AllTell me more, tell me more_

Then, the song was over. Claire was left with a group of girls. They were all asking her stuff about Sawyer. How he looked, what he was like, what he did. She didn't tell them anything, she knew he was arriving anytime soon. Maybe she would tell Lorelai later.

"His name was Sawyer," she confessed. "But I don't want to talk about it."

Lorelai smiled at her. Claire knew she was going to tell her anyway.

Song over. But the guys stayed there, asking stuff about the girl, about Claire. He really didn't want to tell them anything, so they left. Everyone left, except for Luke. Sawyer decided he would tell Luke something.

"Her name was Claire," Sawyer said. "I'd call her Blondie often."

Luke started to smile. Probably about the nickname, Sawyer thought. He didn't know what else Luke could be laughing about.

"You know what Sawyer," Luke said. "Why don't we do a tour around the town? I'll take to all the places you should see. And I'll tell you what people to avoid, and what people are good to know. Could be interesting."

Sawyer didn't care about the town at all. But he really wanted to meet Luke's girl and her daughter. And of course, he wanted to know which people to avoid.

"Sure," he said. "I'll go. I desperately want to know which people to avoid. And I'd love to meet Lorelai and Rory. They seem nice."

They left, to walk around town, Luke still with a smile on his face. They met miss Patty, who immediately fell in love with Sawyer, who wanted to get away as soon as possible. Luke only laughed at that, and moved on.

They met Kirk, and his girl Lulu. Sawyer thought Kirk was as insane as one could possibly be, so he shared the opinion of the rest of the village on that. He thought Lulu was a nice girl, and somehow she fitted with Kirk. Weird…

When they passed by a shop called Doose's, Sawyer was introduced to Taylor. He instantly hated him. But when an employee said hi to them, Luke ignored him. Then later, Luke explained that was Dean, Rory's ex-boyfriend, who he didn't like at all.

"Lorelai," Luke yelled.

A woman looked at them. It was a pretty woman, Sawyer thought. She had dark hair and always a smile on her face. That must be Lorelai.

"Who's pretty boy," Lorelai asked, which seemed to shock Luke. Sawyer thought it was really funny. He liked girls who said what they were thinking.

"I'm Sawyer," he responded. "You must be Lorelai. Lover-boy here…" he pointed at Luke "… told me all about you."

Lorelai and Sawyer laughed, while Luke looked grumpy. Then, a blonde girl was crossing the street, clearly searching for someone.

"Here sunshine," Lorelai called. "A friend of mine, she's new here too."

A pretty friend, Sawyer thought. Great body, definitely. He saw Lorelai and Luke winking at each other, but he didn't get what it was about.

"Sawyer," a very familiar voice said. "Is that you?"

He looked at the girl. It was mamacita! Claire!

"Claire," he said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

Sawyer had absolutely no idea she was going to be here, in this town of all places! This was probably just a very weird dream. Then he felt her arms around him. She hugged him, that was all he could think about. Was he but a poet, so he could… What was that nonsense?

"I moved here," Claire responded. "You really thought I'd stay with Charlie? He'd have my son wearing eye-liner before he could even walk!"

Sawyer thought that was probably right. Charlie would do that, he was that crazy. He let go of Claire, pushing her away slightly.

"But Claire," Sawyer said. "I've got to go. Nice to see you. Say hi to Aaron for me!"

He walked away, as fast as he could manage without seeming rude. He couldn't have everyone think he was in love with Claire right? She was a single mom after all!

Sawyer never noticed he left Claire crying.

"Aaron," Claire said. "Rory's still baby-sitting him, right?"

Lorelai looked at Claire, with pity in her eyes, while Claire wiped her tears, and tried to produce a hint of a smile.

"Claire," Lorelai said. "What's wrong honey? Forget about Aaron for a while. I know Rory's still there. Nothing to worry about. What is it with Sawyer?"

Claire sighed. Everything that had to do with Sawyer always winded up to be one hell of a mess. Why couldn't things just work out between them?

"Everything," Claire said. "We had this thing on the island, until I found out he had been after someone else the whole time. She's taken now. He's suddenly here, I see him, and he pushes me away again? Why won't it work between us?"

Claire started crying again, and Lorelai put an arm around her.

"Come on honey," Lorelai said. "Let's have some fun tonight. A girl's night. Rory will be there, I'll bring Sookie. You can bring a few friends too."

Claire wiped her tears and smiled.

"Okay," she said. "You got a deal."


	4. Girls just wanna have fun

Chapter 4: Girls just wanna have fun, guys just wanna get drunk

**AN: Ok, so more random craziness here… I know it's starting to seem a lot like Grease, but that will change in the chapter after this one… I mean, I love Grease, but sometimes you must find something more original… Till then, more bits of Grease…**

**I don't own "Hopelessly devoted to you"… I wish I did, I'd be rich!**

**Stars Hollow has this weird time things, it's like time is never normal there… So I used that.. Cause otherwise, there'd be no way in hell everyone would be at Lorelai's so soon…. Duh!**

**Chapter contains appearances by: a few of the Lost ladies, a bitchy grandmother, and two certain bad boy hotties… Take a guess ;)**

**Ok everyone, please R & R**

Claire had no idea how it happened, but about a few seconds after she agreed to the girls night, suddenly everyone was at Lorelai's house. Even Kate and Shannon, who probably didn't even knew the village, were there! It was a bit weird, but whatever. What mattered was that everyone was there.

Lorelai started the "Sex and the city" DVD's they were going to watch, and everyone stopped talking, and started watching the show.

Claire tried to do that too, but she couldn't focus on it. She kept on thinking about him, about Sawyer. How cute he was, the things that happened on the island. And now, him pushing her away. She didn't even knew why he did that.

Claire left the house, as quiet as she could. She needed to be alone for a while, so she sat down outside, and started to think about Sawyer again. And suddenly, she felt the urge to sing a heartbreaking song about her love for him. Where that came from, she didn't knew.

"Guess mine is not the first heart broken."

It really felt like her heart was breaking, crumbling apart.  
"_My eyes are not the first to cry.  
I'm not the first to know  
there's just no getting over you."_

Nope, Kate probably knew everything about it too. Claire had to remind herself why she and Sawyer could never be. Sugar and spice, he always had all the girls after him, and he was a conman. A guy like that could never be there for her and Aaron._  
"I know I'm just a fool who's willin'  
to sit around and wait for you.  
But, baby, can't you see  
there's nothin' else for me to do?  
I'm hopelessly devoted to you._"

Claire had to admit it; she fell in love with him on the island.  
_"But now  
there's no where to hide  
since you pushed my love aside."_

He rejected her, pushed her away. That made her realize even more it could never work. But why did she even want it to work so bad?  
_"I'm out of my head,  
hopelessly devoted to you,  
hopelessly devoted to you,  
hopelessly devoted to you."_

Because she loved him.  
_"My head is sayin', "Fool, forget him."  
My heart is sayin' "Don't let go.  
Hold on to the end."  
And that's what I intend to do.  
I'm hopelessly devoted to you."_

Torn between head and heart, that was how she felt.  
_"But now  
there's no where to hide  
since you pushed my love aside.  
I'm out of my head,  
hopelessly devoted to you,  
hopelessly devoted to you,  
hopelessly devoted to you. "_

She stopped singing, and looked around. No one was there. She shivered. It was getting cold, she thought, and got in the house again.

Everyone was watching "Sex and the City", and was enjoying it. Even Claire was having fun, being able to hang out with her friends. Jackson was babysitting Davey and Aaron, so she didn't have to worry about that.

The phone rang, and Lorelai picked up. It must have been an annoying person, cause Lorelai looked as she had just landed in hell.

"No mom, Luke isn't with me. Rory is with me, and a few other girls. I know you don't like Luke, but I already said I don't care. No, you're not judging her. You don't know her story, or anything else about her. Yes, we'll be there next Friday. No, I won't bring Luke. Yes, I've heard about the new guy already. I don't care what you think of him. Not my problem. Yes, Rory is fine. She'll be there Friday. Bye mom!"

Claire looked at Lorelai. She sounded like she really didn't like her mother. Which was a weird thing to Claire. Most people like their mothers you know. Rory loved Lorelai, Davey seemed to love Sookie, and Claire hoped Aaron loved her.

"Another phone call from Lady Emily," Rory asked.

"My mother," Lorelai explained. "She's this crazy woman. She hates Luke and everyone in the town who isn't up to her standards. Conclusion: she's a snob."

Claire tried to hide her laughter, but she failed. She started giggling, as did Rory.

"Who was granny gossiping about this time," Rory asked.

"The usual," Lorelai answered. "Me, Luke, the new people. And she was saying irritating stuff about Claire. How I responded, you all know. She was also gossiping about Sawyer though. Lady Emily clearly thought he wasn't good enough."

You could definitely call Emily a snob, Claire thought. She had problems with just about everyone. It was kind of pathetic that Emily thought Luke wasn't good enough. Lorelai and him made the cutest couple, Rory loved Luke as a dad, everything seemed okay.

"Ace," someone yelled. "There's this guy here who says he knows you! Come and check him out! Quick please, cause I don't think he likes me."

Logan? What was he doing here? And what was he talking about? Someone was there, but who could it be, Rory wondered. Logan came all the way from Yale to tell her something about a guy. Logan could be weird, and a jerk. Maybe that was why it never worked out between them. But that wasn't the point.

"Come on Rory," her mom said. "You should go. Maybe it's someone who wants to offer you the lottery jackpot. Go to the guy, come on!"

Should she go? Rory didn't even knew who were there. She looked around the room, to get the opinions of the other ladies. Most of them nodded, to say she should go.

"I'll come with you," Claire said.

Rory liked the single mom. It was a nice girl, and Aaron was an adorable boy. Too bad about Claire's issues with that redneck Sawyer. There was something about that Sawyer Rory couldn't quiet get. He seemed fake sometimes, like his bad behavior was just a mask that he was wearing. Rory hoped that would fade, and him and Claire could be happy. Claire really deserved to be happy, after what that Thomas did to her. Jerk!

"Thanks Claire," she said, as they got out of the house.

"You're welcome Rory," Claire said, with a smile on her face.

Rory noticed Logan, slightly drunk. Finn, Logan's insane buddy, was also there. Luke was there, talking to Sawyer. Then, there was a guy Rory knew all to well. Jess was there. Why was he there? He wouldn't be at her house just to talk to his uncle Luke.

"Rory," Claire said. "I think I'm going back inside. You're staying here, or are you coming with me? It has nothing to do with you. You know what it's about."

Rory thought about going back in with Claire, but then the guys noticed them. Sawyer went up to Claire, while Jess went up to Rory. Great, she thought. Her 'bad boy' ex-boyfriend was back. Just wait ten minutes and he'd be in Dean's face again. A battle of the exes.

"Rory," Jess said. "I'm so glad to see you. That prick there told me he knew you, and he brought me here. Don't tell me he's your boyfriend. He's not right for you, and neither is Dean. I'm right for you. You know that right?"

What happened to Jess, Rory thought. He kept on coming back, saying he loved her and wanted her back. The other times, she always had a boyfriend or someone like it. Now, she had no one. Could she fall for Jess again? She knew she could. Would it happen? It very well could happen. Rory still wasn't sure about her feelings for Jess.

"Are you here just to tell me that," Rory asked Jess.

"There's more," Jess said. "I love you Rory. Please be my girl again. I've changed, really. I'm finally finishing high school, so I can study. I can take care of you now. No more lying to you, never! Please be my girl again."

Rory was still in love with him. She never forgot him. When she met Logan, she liked him because he seemed a lot like Jess. Equally bad boy. But Jess changed. He was no longer a total bad boy. Rory hoped he'd remain Jess, just a little bad. Or else he'd be boring. Girls always liked bad boys, Rory thought.

That reminded her of Sawyer and Claire. She looked at them. Sawyer was clearly drunk, and Claire looked mad. She was yelling at him, and crying at the same time. Rory walked over to them, to maybe help Claire. Jess came after her.

"Sawyer," Claire said. "I can't trust you. You show up here drunk, you were seeing Kate when we had something, you pushed me away. I'm sure you can be really nice, but you just never show it, huh Sawyer!"

Rory saw Claire wiping her tears, and Sawyer standing, almost falling down.

"But Claire," Sawyer said. "I love you."

Now Claire started crying again. Rory knew Claire was in love with Sawyer, that she loved him. So this must really hurt her. In love with someone you could never be with.

"You love me," Claire said. "Oh, you showed that damn well. You're a stupid jackass Sawyer! What kind of name is that anyway?"

Now Sawyer looked hurt. Rory had no idea what it was about, so she walked away, with Jess on her tail. He clearly thought they were going to continue their conversation.

"It was his name," Sawyer screamed. "He was a conman. Romanced my momma to get to the money. My dad shot her, then himself. That enough for you?"

Claire was shocked. She expected something about the name, but something like that? That didn't even happened in the movies. But maybe it was the reason for Sawyer being so bitter and sarcastic to everyone. She felt sorry for even bringing it up.

"I didn't knew," Claire said. "And now I don't even know what your name is."

She wiped the last of her tears, then looked at the man she loved. He looked drunk, very drunk. He could barely stay on his feet.

"James," he said. "It's James."

Then, he passed out. Just there, outside in the cold night. Claire looked at him. He might as well get very sick when he wakes up tomorrow, from all the drinks he's been having. Claire took the risk, and took him home with her. The girls would understand, Claire thought. She looked at Lorelai's house one last time, then tried to lift James. It didn't work.

Suddenly, Luke helped her. They walked James to Claire's place, which luckily wasn't far away. Claire quickly opened the door, so they could lay him down in the bedroom. Aaron didn't wake up, fortunately.

Luke left, and Claire got to the bedroom again. She had been really stupid, laying him in her bed. Where would she sleep then? She thought about it for a while. She might as well just sleep in the bed. It was big enough, and it wasn't like James would notice. She'd be up before he would be. Even if he was earlier, he'd probably have a hangover anyway.

Claire got ready, then got into bed. She checked James, who was still pretty passed out, and sleeping. She smiled, and turned around.

Claire didn't notice she went to lay closer to James. She was asleep already, dreaming of fairytales, which all included James as her hero. Her knight in shining armor, her savior, her prince charming, her Mr. Right, her… Shouldn't this chapter be finished by now?


	5. Sawyer is rocking his body

Chapter 5: Sawyer is rocking his body

**AN: I finally got reviews! **

**Redbess: Thank you for reviewing… I love Claire and Sawyer too… Hence this fic…**

**Xlostangelx: I'm weird, that affects my fic… Just joking… But yeah, Sawyer's out of character on purpose… I thought it would be funny to make up about his softer side..**

**I don't own the usual stuff… I mean, look at me… Poor 16-year-old high school student… If I'd be rich, do you think I'd be writing this here?**

**I don't own 'Rock your body' by Justin Timberlake… I can't sing it anyway… Maybe Sawyer can :P…**

**I'm soooo sorry this took so long! School's keeping me way too busy lately! Graduation year is pretty hard at the moment… And of course, there's this thing called writers block… sigh**

James woke up in a bed, nice and warm. He was laying next to a woman. And he had a terrible hangover. Logical, cause he didn't even remembered how much drinks he had last night. A lot of beers, some Jack Daniels, and a lot of other stuff.

He didn't even remember what he did last night, except for the drinking part. James just remembered Luke being there, and someone Luke called his cousin Jess. And then some noisy boys, called Logan and Finn. At least, that was what James thought it was.

James looked at the woman next to him, and couldn't believe what he was seeing. He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him at first, then he realized it was true. It was really Claire who was laying next to him. It was not a dream.

That meant they, well, they did 'it' last night? James must have been really drunk, or else he wouldn't have forgotten that. Cause he'd never forget a wish coming true.

Maybe he should give her a wake-up kiss, James thought. He decided to do so.

Slowly, James leaned in to kiss Claire. He reached her and they kissed. Claire kissed him back, and put her arms around him. So far goes the her not liking him theory.

"James," she whispered. "Don't let Charlie see us, okay? We don't want him to freak out. Cause if they would find out, Sayid and Jack would torture you again."

Claire was dreaming about him, James realized with a smile. About them making out, back on the island. She must really like him. Good, that was exactly what James wanted.

Then, Claire woke up and looked at him, with a look of horror on her face. Was he that bad of a kisser, he wondered. This definitely didn't boost his ego, which was pretty huge by the way.

"I kissed you," Claire asked. "I'm so sorry James, I shouldn't have done that. I guess I was just getting caught up in my hormones. I'm so embarrassed. Sorry James, really!"

What was that noise he heard in his head? That was his huge ego, falling to pieces, crashing somewhere. She didn't want to kiss him? What was wrong with him, he wondered. But wait a minute, since when did she start calling him James?

"Claire," he said. "I'm willing to forgive you about the kissing thing, if you go out with me tonight. And oh, how did I get here last night? How drunk was I? What did I say?"

Maybe he did some really embarrassing stuff. But the most important thing was asking Claire out of course. He really wanted to do that, been wanting to do that for a long time.

"You said you loved me," Claire said. "You were terribly drunk. You told me about your parents, because you were very drunk, and then you just passed out. Me and Luke had to drag you back here. And okay, I'll go out with you. I hope Lorelai or Rory will baby-sit Aaron."

She wanted to go out with him! That made his day, even though he also did some stuff to be embarrassed about. He told her about his parents, so that must be the reason she started calling him James instead of Sawyer. And he told her he loved her. He must have been really drunk, cause if he was only slightly drunk, he'd never tell his deepest secrets. He really loved Claire. But no time for the drama, he had to go pick his outfit for the date. James had to make a good impression, and the outfit was very important if you wanted to do that.

--

"I'd love to baby-sit Aaron for you Claire," Rory said. "Would you mind if Jess was there too? I really need to talk to him, and stuff. Well, you know."

Claire giggled. She knew Rory meant more than just talking with Jess, because she really liked the guy. Claire thought that Jess was a nice guy, so she didn't mind.

"Jess can come with you," Claire said. "But just don't forget about my son while you two are making out like crazy… Sorry Rory, I was just giving you a hard time."

Because Rory was blushing like crazy, and that made Claire giggle even more.

"Very funny Claire," Rory said.

--

Oh my god, she was going on a date with Sawyer/James, the very hot bad boy of her dreams, and he was coming to pick her up in three hours. She would never make it in time! Claire still had to pick out her clothes, her make-up and everything. So when she saw Lorelai passing by, she asked her for help. Lorelai would know what to wear.

"Could you please, please, pretty please with sugar on top help me," Claire asked. "I'm going out with Sawyer tonight and he's going to pick me up in three hours and I still don't know what I'm going to wear and I don't know what we're going to do tonight and I'm getting nervous and that really sucks and I'm rambling right now."

Lorelai was looking at Claire like she was crazy, then started laughing.

"Claire, you sound like you just had five bottles of Spaz Juice, " Lorelai said.

"Spaz Juice," Claire wondered. "What is Spaz Juice?"

It sounded like something crazy, and that might as well be the reason Lorelai knew it. But Claire could be pretty crazy too, and she really didn't knew it.

"It's this drink with a lot of sugar," Lorelai said. "You get really hyper when you drink it. And I mean really hyper. When I can't get any coffee, I drink Spaz Juice."

Lorelai sure loved being hyper, or just having a lot of energy, Claire thought. And it all sounded very funny, but she needed help with her outfit now.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your thoughts about coffee," Claire said, "but I really need help."

When Lorelai looked back at her, she was smiling, so she had either been thinking about Luke, or about her beloved coffee. She probably couldn't live without both.

"Sorry Claire," Lorelai said. "Got a little carried away. You said you were going out with cowboy, and you don't know what to wear. Where are you going?"

Good question Lorelai, Claire thought. The only problem was, she didn't knew where she would be going. That got her even more nervous.

--

The outfit they decided on was a black t-shirt with the words 'Island princess' on it, in little diamonds (gift from Lorelai). She was also going to wear a short jeans skirt. She just hoped James would like it. There, she was nervous again.

--

He took her to a club, a hip one somewhere in a city near Stars Hollow. Claire didn't even knew there were clubs around somewhere. But it seemed like a nice place. Except for the fact that everyone there was about half James' age, so it seemed like he didn't fit there. 

Claire didn't mind; she was having a lot of fun dancing with James. She didn't knew he could dance, but he sure could do it. He was the much better looking version of Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake combined. And that was definitely a good thing.

When she finished her thoughts about James being a bit like Justin, an appropriate song started playing. It was 'rock your body' by Justin, of course. Claire always liked that song, so when James started dancing to the beat, she really liked it. But when he started singing along with Justin, Claire was shocked. She honestly didn't knew that he could sing.

"Don't be so quick to walk away  
Dance with me  
I wanna rock your body  
Please stay  
Dance with me"

She didn't knew he could sing. And she really didn't knew he could sing like that. He was definitely a great singer. Not many men could pull this song off. But James could.

"_You don't have to admit you wanna play  
Dance with me  
Just let me rock you  
Till the break of day  
Dance with me"  
_Everyone in the club was looking at them, and Claire felt a bit embarrassed. That only got worse when James pulled her in the spotlight, which was now shining on the both of them.

"Got time, but I don't mind  
Just wanna rock you girl  
I'll have whatever you have  
Come on, just give it up girl  
See I've been watching you  
I like the way you move  
So go ahead, girl, just do  
That ass shaking thing you do"  
James shot Claire a pleading look, that promised he would make it up to her if she didn't want to do this. Dirty, Claire thought smiling, unaware that she was using one of Lorelai's famous phrases. Spending all that time with Lorelai had that effect.

"So you grab your girls  
And you grab a couple more  
And you all come meet me  
In the middle of the floor  
Said the air is thick, it's smelling right  
So you blast to the left and you sail to the right"  
Please let the making up part be good, Claire thought. She was really too shy to do things like this in public. In private, when she was alone with James, she would have danced with more enthusiasm. Now, she was way too shy to do that.

"_Don't be so quick to walk away_

_Dance with me _

_I wanna rock your body _

_Please stay _

_You don't have to admit you wanna play _

_Dance with me _

_Just let me rock you _

_Till the break of day _

_Dance with me"_

But because of the look in his eyes, Claire couldn't just leave James there, alone on the dance floor. She was too in love with him to do that to him.

"I don't mean no harm  
Just wanna rock you girl  
Make a move, but be calm  
Let's go, let's give it up girl  
See it appears to me  
You like the way I move  
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do  
Pull you close and share my groove"  
And that was exactly what James did, pulling Claire really close. It made her wonder if there was something in his pocket, or that he was that glad to be on the date with her.

"So you grab your girls  
And you grab a couple more  
And you all come meet me  
In the middle of the floor  
Said the air is thick, it's smelling right  
So you blast to the left and you sail to the right"  
Now, Claire thought about just letting go of her fear and just dance along with James. She decided just to do so, dancing with James, being really close to him.

"_Don't be so quick to walk away _

_Dance with me _

_I wanna rock your body _

_Please stay _

_You don't have to admit you wanna play _

_Dance with me _

_Just let me rock you _

_Till the break of day _

_Dance with me"_  
Claire almost forgot about the part that was yet to come, the part where she should sing the girls part. Could she do that? Would she dare? She decided to do it.

Claire:_Talk to me boy_

James didn't knew she could sing. And certainly not like that. Claire was really one of a kind, he thought. She was beautiful, nice to everyone, and had a lovely singing voice.  
Sawyer:_No disrespect, I don't mean no harm_

He didn't mean any harm, Claire wondered. Well, she guessed he just wanted the dirty stuff after this date. That thought made her giggle like a schoolgirl.  
Claire:_Talk to me boy_

He knew what his next line was going to be, and he knew it was true.  
Sawyer:_I can't wait to have you in my arms_

Claire already figured that out, way back in the time the both of them were still on the island, secretly making out, trying not to have anyone notice them.  
Claire:_Talk to me boy_

The feelings he had about her were getting stronger by the minute. James was fully aware of the corniness of his thoughts, but he didn't mind at all.  
Sawyer:_Hurry up cause you're taking too long_

Dirty, Claire thought again. That thought was always in her mind when it was about James.  
Claire:_Talk to me boy_

The following line wouldn't be correct for the moment, but James sure wanted that to happen soon. Maybe after their date? You never know, he thought.  
Sawyer:_Better have you naked by the end of this song_  
Not by the end of this song, Claire thought. Maybe by the end of their date? Dirty!

"So what did you come for" 

I came to be with you, Claire thought. She really liked James. Maybe even loved him. And she was sure she wanted him. Dirty!  
Claire:_I came to dance with you_  
He knew she didn't really came to dance with him, but there must be a reason behind it. He just hoped it was because she liked/loved/wanted him. Possibly all three.

Sawyer:_And you know that you don't want to hit the floor_  
When Claire looked at him, she noticed how cute he looked when he was just dancing there, singing and looking at her. She definitely had the hots for him.

Claire:_I came to romance with you_  
To romance with him? Well, no problems there. James certainly liked that.

Sawyer:_You're searching for love forever more_  
Claire was looking for a love that would last, and she hoped it was him.

Claire:_It's time to take a chance_  
James would take a chance with her, after this club. At the end of their date.

Both:_If love is here on the floor, girl_  
Love was definitely there on the floor, Claire thought. And James proved that by kissing her, with the whole crowd looking at them, whistling and smiling.

Sawyer:_Don't be so quick to walk away _

_Dance with me _

_I wanna rock your body _

_Please stay _

_You don't have to admit you wanna play _

_Dance with me _

_Just let me rock you _

_Till the break of day _

_Dance with me_  
Did James just hear a girl whispering something about him being hot, even though he was way too old? He wasn't that old, but in the eyes of the kids there, he must have looked like he was from the prehistoric age.

Claire:_Talk to me boy_  
A guy was checking her out, even if he looked like he was only 16 years old. I'm not frigging Mrs. Robinson, Claire thought. Dirty!

Sawyer:_No disrespect, I don't mean no harm_  
James was having a blast at this club, even though he didn't expect that. He thought that since Claire was a lot younger than him, she would love it, and he would hate it.

Claire:_Talk to me boy_  
Was there actually a hint of jealousy in the eyes of that girl behind the bar? It really seemed like it. The girl looked like she was a few years older than Claire.

Sawyer:_But I can't wait to have you in my arms_  
Almost every guy in the club was sending him jealous glances. Not because of his hot looks, James presumed, but because he was the one dancing with Claire. He sure was a lucky guy.

Claire:_Talk to me boy_  
How long did this song last, Claire wondered. She wanted to get the hell out of the club and go have some private fun with James. Dirty! Again.

Sawyer:_Hurry up cause you're taking too long_  
This song was definitely too long, James thought. He wanted to leave with Claire. She looked so lovely, and also very hot, in that short skirt and the Island Princess shirt. Even though James was sure that title belonged to Shannon.

Claire:_Talk to me boy_  
The end of the song was finally almost there. Her and James would be able to… Dirty thoughts, dirty visuals… Must think of something else… Charlie in a thong, Charlie in a thong…Not working, and GROSS! Erase visual, erase…

Sawyer:_Better have you naked by the end of this song_  
That was definitely it for James. They were leaving. He took Claire's hand, and they left the club, leaving the teenagers to whistle, probably guessing what they were going to do.

While leaving, James kissed Claire. When he stopped, because he was out of breath, Claire spoke. It sounded like she was also out of breath.

"How about we go home early, cowboy?"

**AN: Oh my lanta, wouldn't we all want a hot date with Sawyer? I know I would… Even though he's old enough to be my father (EW) and Josh Holloway is very married… sigh… **

'**Dirty!' is one of Lorelai's many weird catchphrases. She uses it a lot, especially when it has something to do with Luke giggle**

**I'm shallow, I live for reviews… So pretty please with sugar on top leave me a review… If you leave me an original review, I'll love you even more…**


	6. Craziness, nakedness and cuteness

Chapter 6: Craziness, nakedness and cuteness

**AN: Reading back on that last chapter, I was thinking about my mood when I was writing the last bits… As you may notice, I was on a sugar rush! **

**Sorry for that useless bit of information, onto the reviews:**

**meagan4dominic: Thanks for your review! And also thanks for reminding me Sawyer isn't married… Wanna marry Sawyer, giggle…**

**Anni the Diva: ACID TRIP? Definitely not. Don't do drugs, you're mistaking me for Charlie…**

**I totally own Lost and Gilmore Girls… IN MY DREAMS! Not in real life, don't sue me!**

**Don't own "Can you feel the love tonight", the people at Disney do… Or is it Elton John? Don't know… **

**Enough talking, on with the story…**

"Do we have to watch this movie," Luke said. "We have watched it three times already this week. I really think that's enough."

He was sitting on the couch at Lorelai's place, and they were watching 'Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory'. Again.

"Come on, mister Backwards Baseball Cap," Lorelai said, smiling. "This happens to be a classic. Besides, we have to do something until Claire and your criminal friend return from their date. She promised she'd drop by, and tell me the dirty details."

Luke grunted and looked at Lorelai, who was looking at the movie.

"This movie isn't the only option to pass the time," he said.

"Dirty," Lorelai said, teasingly. "But Willy Wonka is so hot!"

While Luke looked at the TV-screen, he thought about how crazy Lorelai was. Her coffee addiction, her love for weird movies, her catchphrases and her random weirdness. And he thought about how much he loved that about her. But Willy Wonka? Hot?

"That's getting disturbing images in my mind," Luke responded.

"Only because you have a dirty mind," Lorelai said, while kissing Luke.

After the kiss, Lorelai got closer to Luke, until they heard something in the streets. Lorelai, curious as she was, went to look outside the window first.

"It's Sawyer and Claire," she yelled. "And they're K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

Luke started smiling his rare smile, and looked at Lorelai, who suddenly started singing.

Lorelai: _I can see what's happ'ning_  
What the hell is she talking about, Luke thought.

Luke: _(What?)_  
What do you mean 'what', Lorelai wondered. It was just too obvious.

Lorelai: _And they don't have a clue!_  
Who the hell is she talking about, Luke wondered.

Luke: _(Who?)_  
Who, well who do you think I'm talking about Luke? Kirk and Taylor? Dirty! Wrong people, dirty visuals, abort thoughts. Think of cuter couple.

Lorelai: _They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line_  
_Our group's down to two_  
Now he got it. She was talking about James and Claire dating. Or was it about Rory and Jess, who were babysitting Aaron at the moment. No, probably James and Claire.

Luke: _(Oh.)_  
_The sweet caress of twilight  
There's magic in the air  
And with all this romantic atmosphere  
Disaster's in the air_  
Lorelai didn't knew Luke could sing like that. She should sign him up for the next 'American Idol'. He would hate it! Nah, she wouldn't do that. When she looked around, all of a sudden a lot of townspeople were entering her house, singing along with the song.

Choir: _Can you feel the love tonight?  
The peace the evening brings  
The world, for once, in perfect harmony  
With all its living things_  
Very cheesy song, James thought. But it fit his emotions perfectly. He was in love with Claire, a wonderful woman. Unfortunately, it couldn't last. He couldn't tell her about his previous life, previous job, or she would turn away from him, to protect her son.

Sawyer: _So many things to tell her  
But how to make her see  
The truth about my past? Impossible!  
She'd turn away from me_  
Claire looked at James while they were walking the streets together. She heard him singing those lines. She knew he was hiding something, and really wanted to know what it was all about. She loved him. No matter what his secret was.

Claire: _He's holding back, he's hiding  
But what, I can't decide  
Why won't he be the man I know he is  
The man I see inside?_  
Was that miss Patty standing there, singing along, Lorelai wondered. It sure looked like it was her. She spotted Sookie, Jackson, Michel, Dean and even Taylor singing along. While she was thinking of ways to torture Dean for hurting Rory, the crowd was singing.

Choir _Can you feel the love tonight?  
The peace the evening brings   
The world, for once, in perfect harmony  
With all the livings things_  
He was going to kill Dean, Luke thought. But not now, after the song. Watching Taylor trying to sing was way too funny to miss. The most annoying guy in the village, trying to reach the high notes. Luke wouldn't miss it for the world.

Choir: _Can you feel the love tonight?  
You needn't look too far  
Stealing through the night's uncertainties  
Love is where they are_  
Then, Kirk showed up. Lorelai had already been wondering where he was. First, she only saw Kirk's head. Then, when she saw everything, she had seen too much. Kirk was running around naked. Again. And this time, he was also singing.

Kirk: _And if he falls in love tonight  
It can be assumed  
His carefree days with us are history  
In short, our pal is doomed_

Luke covered Lorelai's eyes, but he feared the damage was already done. Seeing Kirk naked generally caused bad things. Lorelai proved him right with her next comment.

"My eyes," she screamed. "I can't see! They're burned! Bad visuals! Aargh!"

When he looked around, looking away when spotting Kirk, Luke started to smile. There they were: James and Claire. James was so sweet to cover Claire's eyes from naked Kirk.

--

"Can I watch again," Claire asked. "And I still don't know why you are covering my eyes in the first place! Come on James, tell me."

Claire sighed, still not seeing anything, because her eyes were covered. James did that, all of a sudden, in the middle of the song. Just when Claire was enjoying herself watching the most irritating guy in town, Taylor, singing. Typical, she thought.

"Hold on a sec," James said, uncovering Claire's eyes. "Now you can watch again. That fool of a Kirk was running around naked, and singing. I didn't want you to see that. You'd be scarred for life. Nobody should see that!"

Feeling James shiver in disgust, Claire started laughing. As she turned to watch the look on James' face, the laughing only became louder. The look on his face was hilarious to watch, and it just made her laugh till her stomach started aching.

"My eyes are burned! I can't see," Lorelai yelled. "I'm scarred for life. I'm…"

When Lorelai stopped in the middle of that sentence, Claire turned to look at her. Clearly, Luke found a way to shut Lorelai up. He simply kissed her.

"They are so cute together," Claire sighed.

Then, James kissed her, causing them to make a pretty good sight for miss Patty and Babette, the town's gossip crew. But Claire didn't mind. He kissed her!

**AN: I know that was a pretty short chapter… But this will allow me to post more chapters very soon… Hopefully even today… **

**Kirk, the village crazy guy really runs around naked… Mostly half asleep… And yes, Lorelai and Luke once witnessed it… Except for the strategically placed pillow part…**

**Anyway, there's a pretty purple button at the bottom of the page… And it loves you… Pretty please leave a review… And to all the lurkers: Still thanks for reading…**


	7. A girl's conditions to her lover

Chapter 7: A girl's conditions to her lover

**AN: I'm so fast today… And still in a funny mood… But what the heck… Review:**

**meagan4dominic: Thanks for reviewing again! You want to marry Sawyer too? Wouldn't that be great? dreamy smile**

**I totally own Lost and Gilmore Girls… IN MY DREAMS! Not in real life, don't sue me!**

**I don't own "Wannabe", that's the Spice Girls… (Can't believe I'm using that song)**

**Another appearance of a few Lost ladies… And some Lost guys… Read and enjoy…**

Claire felt all hyper and giggly after the kiss. She felt as if she drank five bottles of Spaz Juice in the last five minutes, and she was as hyper as Lorelai normally was.

When she entered her house, Rory and Jess were sitting on the couch, looking like they had been sitting there for hours, really casual. Too casual.

"I know you two were making out two seconds before I came in," Claire giggled, "so don't try to look so casual. It doesn't matter. I already expected it. Just glad I didn't run into the two of you in the middle of something good. Almost seeing Kirk naked is enough for one day!"

Rory and Jess looked at her in shock, then both started laughing along with Claire, who was giggling really loud, holding on to the walls, trying not to fall down.

"Kirk was naked," Jess asked, still laughing.

"Again," Rory asked, laughing even louder.

"What do you mean, again," Jess wondered, looking at Rory. Claire did the same, cause she wanted to look at Rory's face when she explained that. Didn't Jess knew?

"I haven't told you about the test run of the inn," Rory said. "Kirk was also invited, and just as mom and Luke were kissing, he ran by, with just a strategically placed pillow. And another time, when Luke walked mom home, Kirk was sleeping in the boat. Naked, only covered with a blanket, which he dropped once. Mom still claims she is scarred for life!"

The three of them laughed even louder, all thinking about Lorelai saying that. Nobody was thinking about the naked Kirk part, because that would cause to dirty visuals.

"That's one of the reasons that makes this town worth it," Jess said. "The funniness. And of course, the lovely ladies we have here."

Rory and Claire blushed and giggled, while Jess smiled.

"Talking about lovely ladies," Jess said. "There are some people at the door, and there are some mighty fine ladies with them. Unfortunately, I think they're all taken."

Rory smacked him on the head with the DVD-box of Pippi Longstocking, which they had been watching apparently. Claire laughed, and walked to the door.

When she opened it, she was definitely surprised. There they were, her friends from the island. Jack and Kate, looking really happy together, Shannon and Sayid, all lovey-dovey, and Charlie, alone and wearing a lot of eyeliner.

"Hi Claire," Jack said, smiling. "You probably didn't expected us, but we were all up for going here, since Kate and Shannon told a lot of stories about this village. We also heard stories about some of your friends. We'd love to meet them."

James had to be here too, Claire thought. Nobody of the group particularly liked him, except for Kate of course, but he also survived the crash, and was there on the island.

"Hello everyone," Claire said. "Come in! Aaron is sleeping, and I was just coming home. My friend Rory and her boyfriend Jess have been watching Aaron. If you all hold on a moment, I really need to call some people. Including your mom and Luke, Rory. I will do introductions later, so don't go anywhere."

She watched Rory and Jess smile at the survivors, and quickly called Lorelai. Claire told her to come to her place, and bring Luke and James. They were going to have a little party.

"I'm back," she then said. "Rory, Jess, the rest is coming soon. Don't leave yet. For the introduction part: these people are the people who were also on the plane. The blonde is Shannon, who Rory might know."

Claire smiled at Shannon, as did Rory.

"Hi Rory," Shannon said. "Nice to see you again. And Jess, is it?"

Jess also smiled at Shannon, and shook her hand, which revealed the ring on Shannon's hand.

"Is that what I think it is," Claire said.

"Yes," Shannon said, looking happy. "Me and Sayid here, we're getting married."

Sayid was also introduced now, and that left Jack, Kate and Charlie.

"Hello Kate," Rory said. "Nice to see you again. Is that the Jack you were talking about?"

Everyone smiled. Claire almost forgot Rory knew Kate already, from the girls night.

"That's me," Jack said. "Doctor Jack, the one Kate keeps talking about."

Kate blushed, and everyone else laughed. Now, Charlie was the only person who still needed a proper introduction. Claire sighed. She hoped James would be there soon.

"And the other guy, over there," Claire pointed at Charlie, "is Charlie Pace. Bass player from the band Driveshaft. I don't know if you two know the band."

You could see Rory and Jess were thinking about it, but didn't know the band.

"Claire," Rory said. "I think I hear your other guests coming."

When Rory winked at her, Claire realized Rory must know about her and James. And that she really liked it. Both of the girls were smiling, as Claire walked to the door.

"Come in Lorelai, Luke," she said as she opened the door. "James, the survivors are here. I was hoping you would wait a few seconds, and make it a surprise."

James nodded, and Claire let Lorelai and Luke in, while James stayed in the hall, invisible for the rest of the visitors, who were talking and laughing loudly.

"Everyone, meet Lorelai and Luke," Claire smiled. "Lorelai is the owner of the local inn, and Rory's mother, and Luke owns the greatest diner in the country. Lorelai, Luke, these are the survivors I told you about. From left to right: Shannon Rutherford and her fiancée Sayid Jarrah, doctor Jack Shephard and his girlfriend Kate Austin and Charlie Pace, bass player of Driveshaft. Of course you know Rory and Jess. Luke is Jess' uncle by the way."

Lorelai and Luke greeted the survivors and went up to Rory and Jess.

"Wait a minute," Luke said. "Doctor Jack. I've heard someone talk about tha…"

Lorelai stepped on his toe, probably on purpose, to make him shut up about James. Claire giggled and cleared her throat, to get everybody's attention again.

"And I have a surprise for all of the survivors," Claire said loudly. "Someone is here to see all of you. I hope you like it. Surprise, surprise."

Then, James entered the room, and all the survivors stood there, jaws dropped.

"Hello everyone," James said. "Sticks, Ali, Jackass, Freckles and the has been."

Everyone still looked at him in shock, until Lorelai started laughing.

"You're pretty good with the nicknames, pretty boy," she said. "Too bad for you almost everyone here knows about your nickname. Steamrolled Harry Potter, wasn't it?"

The survivors started laughing, and so did everyone else, except for James, who looked at Claire, kind of mad. Claire knew Lorelai would bring that up once.

"That was Hurley," Jack said. "He gave the nickname. About that hideous glasses we made for Sawyer. Don't you remember that Sayid?"

The Iraqi man laughed along with the doctor, and almost everyone else.

"I remember," he said, smiling.

"Okay, enough fun at my expense," James said, slightly showing a dimpled smile.

"Let's do something fun," Shannon said. "Something with the girls, and the boys do something else. I already have an idea."

Every single person in the room agreed to the idea. So the girls went upstairs, and the boys stayed downstairs. They both had an hour to prepare. And then, it would be time for a performance. Claire was already looking forward to it.

--

An hour later, the girls were done with the song they were going to perform. Claire thought it was a silly song, but it turned out to be a lot of fun. They were going to dance, sing, and just have a good time. Have a laugh and stuff like that.

"We'll go first," Shannon said. "Because it was my idea!"

The guys agreed, not seeming to mind at all. Claire spotted all kinds of emotion on the guys' faces, from happiness to disgust in Jess' eyes. He probably hated it, Claire thought.

Kate put the music on, and the girls started in their poses. Showtime!

Lorelai:_Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,_  
I love the Spice Girls, Lorelai thought, smiling. And she knew Luke hated them. It always made him look very grumpy when she mentioned it.

Rory: _So tell me what you want, what you really really want,_  
Jess would hate it, Rory knew that. But who knew what kind of song they were going to perform later. It could be even worse.

Lorelai: _I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,_  
Yep, he hated it. The song at least, cause he seemed to like her and Rory singing.

Rory: _So tell me what you want, what you really really want,_  
Yep, he hated it. He hated the song, Rory thought, and giggled.

Lorelai: _I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
really really wanna zigazig ha._  
Lorelai hoped Kate would do good, because she had been really nervous. She didn't even want to sing a few lines by herself, but everyone thought she had to.

Kate:_If you want my future forget my past,  
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,_  
Thank God that was over, Kate thought, and looked at Jack. He looked proud and very happy, and she smiled at him. She really loved him.

Shannon:_Now don't go wasting my precious time,  
Get your act together we could be just fine_  
Shannon didn't think Sayid would know this song, but she caught him lip-singing. She smiled at him, truly happy. He knew the song, she loved him.

Rory:_I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,_  
Rory smiled at Jess, giggling at the look on his face.

Lorelai:_So tell me what you want, what you really really want,_  
Lorelai loved grumpy Luke, it made her want to cheer him up.

Rory:_I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
really really wanna zigazig ha._  
Wait a minute, Rory thought. Luke and Jess were silently singing along. Right, Liz was an enormous Spice Girls fan. Or was it something else? She giggled.

All:_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,  
Make it last forever friendship never ends,  
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,  
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is._  
Nervous, Claire thought. Definitely nervous. She looked at James, who smiled encouragingly.

Claire:_So what you think about that now you know how I feel,  
Say you can handle my love are you for real,  
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try  
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye._  
Go Claire, Lorelai thought, happy with how the song was going so far. The guys seemed to like it, because three of them were singing along silently. Luke, Jess and Sayid.

Lorelai:_Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,_  
Jess was still singing along. Rory looked at her mom, and they shared a knowing look.

Rory:_So tell me what you want, what you really really want,_  
Lorelai was so having a good time, doing cool stuff. Dirty, she giggled.

Lorelai:_I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
really really wanna zigazig ha._  
The song was slowly coming to an end, Kate thought. She almost felt sad about it, but was also curious about what the guys were going to perform.

All:_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,  
Make it last forever friendship never ends,  
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,  
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is._  
Loving this, Lorelai thought. Her kind of rap was coming, and Lorelai really liked that part of the song. Was it there yet? Almost. Now? Almost. Now!

Lorelai:_So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me  
you gotta listen carefully,  
We got Claire in the place who likes it in your face,  
we got K like LL who likes it on an  
Easy S doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,  
and as for me you'll see,_   
Shannon loved the fact they adapted that few lines for them. Everyone agreed for her name in the real lady part, because she was the most like Posh Spice. They had a good laugh about that when they were all practicing.

Claire, Kate, Shannon:_Slam your body down and wind it all around  
Slam your body down and wind it all around._  
In the beginning, James didn't seem to like it, Claire thought. But now, he was smiling and laughing the whole time. He really seemed to enjoy it now.

All:_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,  
Make it last forever friendship never ends,  
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,  
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is._  
Rory giggled as they were dancing. She didn't dance often, but when she did it, she had loads of fun. Especially if her mom was also involved.

Lorelai, Rory:_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta,   
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam _  
This really was a lot of fun, Claire thought. Now she really wanted to know what the guys were going to do. It had to be something good.

Claire, Kate, Shannon:_Slam your body down and wind it all around.  
Slam your body down and wind it all around.  
Slam your body down and wind it all around._  
Why did she have to do this line, Kate wondered. Everyone clearly thought she didn't have enough lines or something, but she really didn't mind. She just did it.

Kate:_Slam your body down zigazig ah_  
Almost done, Shannon thought. Get ready for the last pose.

All:_If you wanna be my lover_.

And with that, the song was over. The girls started laughing, as the guys were cheering and were also laughing. Claire thought it was time for their song.

"So guys," she said. "What are you going to perform?"

Everyone stayed quiet, until Jess answered, looking not so happy.

**AN: Evil cliffhanger, right there! giggle**

Got a question for all of you: What song will the guys perform? … I have a few ideas, but not really good ones… I was hoping someone has a few ideas… smile 

And there's that pretty purple button at the bottom of the page… It loves you… And to all of the lurkers, that are not going to review: Still, thanks for reading…


	8. A guy thing

Chapter 8: A guy thing 

**AN: I am back, with a new chapter… Review:**

**meagan4dominic: Thanks for reviewing again! You're officially my number 1 reviewer… Shame we can't both marry Sawyer though…**

**I'm really sorry it took so long, I've been having major writers block on this.**

**I totally own Lost and Gilmore Girls. IN MY HEAD! Not in real life, don't sue me! I don't own 'Girlfriend', by Nsync and Nelly. I just thought it would be fun that the guys would perform it… Just think of the look on Sawyer's face.**

**On with the story…**

--An hour earlier--

"No frigging way," Jess said, looking grumpy. "There is no way I am going to perform that song! I mean, it's a frigging boyband!"

Sawyer couldn't hide a smile as the younger guy looked disgusted. He also hated the band, but apparently Jack, Sayid and Charlie loved it. Luke wasn't too fond of it too.

"Let's just get it over with Jess," Luke said. "Who is going to sing which part of the song?"

That silenced Charlie, who was talking loudly about how much he loved the band and how they were such a big influence on Driveshaft. Sawyer couldn't believe that, cause there were no similarities between the bands at all. That's Charlie for ya, he thought.

--Present time—

"So guys," Claire asked Jess. "What song are you going to perform?"

Jess was still not happy with the choice of the song. It had taken Jack and Charlie about half an hour to convince him to agree with it. He reluctantly agreed.

Rory and Lorelai would be able to mock him for eternity after this, but he know Rory would also love it. So he just did it for his girlfriend.

"I want to remember everyone this was NOT my choice," Jess said. "But Charlie really wanted to perform N'Sync's Girlfriend featuring Nelly."

All the girls started laughing, but when Jess saw Rory's smile, it was okay with him. He was doing this for her, he remembered.

"Show me what you've got," Shannon managed to choke out between her giggles.

Luke had agreed to start the music, Jess remembered. He really didn't want to dance (well, that made two of them), but he did it for Lorelai. Hopeless case, he had teased Luke.

Charlie: "_Check it  
He don't want you like I want you believe me boo I been told  
He don't appreciate you, ma, I can tell by the way he hold you  
He don't love you like I do love you  
He don't squeeze you like I squeeze  
I'll make your neck pop back and in fact I'll buckle your knees (hey)  
Okay, baby what's it gon' take for you to be my lady (tell me right now)  
I hear your friends say you should  
Your parents tell you what's good  
Your lil' sista' keep yellin' Charlie, I wish you would"_  
The girls shared a look at his rapping, Charlie couldn't help but notice. He just couldn't see what kind of look it was. Was it a look of disgust? A look of amusement? He didn't knew.  
_"But you hesitatin debatin' whether or not it's real  
I ain't shootin game, boo, I'm just tellin you how I feel  
I'm diggin everything about you  
Your hips an' the way the swing  
I hate to see you leave boo, but let us see ya all the way"_  
This was the part where the singing was going to come in, Luke thought. He was glad he wasn't the one who would start singing; James would start.  
"_I'll be your personal shrink boo I care what ya think  
I bought the Bentely in pink cuz my dough in sync  
So tell ya man bye bye and tell 'em you're long (gone)  
Ain't no needin' wait up you done found you another (home)"_  
His part was coming up now, James thought. He looked at his beautiful girlfriend and smiled at her, surprised at his own corniness.  
Sawyer: _"I don't know why you care  
He doesn't even know you're there  
'Cause he don't love your eyes   
And he don't love your smile  
Girl you know that ain't fair"_   
Now, a piece of them singing together was coming up, Sayid thought. He was happy that he didn't have to sing something all by himself just yet. He was an okay singer, but Shannon was so much better than him. Still, he had a part coming up.  
All: "_In the middle of the night  
Is he gonna be by your side?  
Or will he run and hide?  
You don't know cause things ain't clear  
And baby when you cry  
Is he gonna stand by your side?  
Does the man even know you're alive?"_  
Jack was glad with his part; not too much, but he had some solo lines.

Jack: _"I got an idea"_  
Luke was sure Lorelai was going to mock him at his part coming up. First, the guys had wanted him to do a part of the rap, with his backwards baseball cap and all. But he preferred singing above rapping, so he would have a singing part.  
All: "_Why don't you be my girlfriend  
I'll treat you good  
I know you hear your friends when they say you should  
'Cause if you were my girlfriend  
I'd be your shining star  
The one to show you where you are  
Girl you should be my girlfriend"_  
Jess was sure that Luke would be mocked about him singing this song. But then again, he also had to sing a part himself, and he would most definitely get mocked about that. But if everything went as he thought it would go, it would make Rory turn twenty shades of pink. Oh, this was going to be nice, Jess thought. Very nice.  
Luke: _"Does he know what you feel  
Are you sure that it's real yeah   
Does he ease your mind  
Or does he break your stride?  
Did you know that love could be a shield yeah"_  
Finally, his part was over, Luke thought. When he looked at his girlfriend smiling at him, he couldn't help but smile back at her. He really loved Lorelai.

All: _"In the middle of the night  
Is he gonna be by your side?  
Or will he run and hide?  
You don't know cause things ain't clear  
And baby when you cry  
Is he gonna stand by your side?  
Does the man even know you're alive?"_  
Jack had his line coming up again, but he wasn't nervous anymore. He was glad the whole dancing thing had been abandoned. At least, he thought it was, until he saw the rest of the group in their agreed positions for the dance to the chorus. Oh no, he thought.

Jack: _"I got an idea"_  
James was glad he got to choose the moves for this dance, and not Charlie. Because if Charlie did choreography, this thing would look horrible, like a Driveshaft video. And that really wasn't an option, James thought.  
All: _"Why don't you be my girlfriend  
I'll treat you good  
I know you hear your friends when they say you should  
'Cause if you were my girlfriend   
I'd be your shining star  
The one to show you where you are   
Girl you should be my girlfriend"_  
Sayid was really happy with the dancing part. It looked nice. But he was a bit nervous about his rapping. He had never rapped before, but he would give it a shot.  
Sayid: _"Need a fiance', cute as Beyonce,  
Ghetto like Da Brat  
Ready to scrap when I say  
The talents of Alicia, the fall Ms. Keys  
Take the hips off-a Trina  
The lips off Eve   
I put ya so high on a pedestal, it might make ya nose bleed  
So much ice around ya ankles, and watch ya toes freeze  
Whats wrong, ma? Ya man ain't brining ya jewelry?  
Don't trip flip ya scrip to a country boy  
Now c'mon" _  
This thing was coming to an end, Charlie thought. Now only the Jess-guy had a solo, and there were some group bits. It was going to be just fine.  
Jess: _"Ever since I saw your face  
Nothing in my life has been the same  
I walk around just saying your name  
Without you my world would end, yeah  
I've searched around this whole damn place  
And everything says you were meant to be  
My girlfriend... oh"_   
Jess had gone on his knees while singing that, pleading to Rory to believe him. Pleading to her to make him her boyfriend. And he was very happy when she blushed and smiled at him; because it meant that she liked him. At least, he thought so.  
All: _"Why don't you be my girlfriend  
I'll treat you good  
I know you hear your friends when they say you should  
'Cause if you were my girlfriend   
I'd be your shining star  
The one to show you where you are   
Girl you should be my girlfriend"_   
Luke looked at his nephew being quite the drama king. Then, he looked at his girlfriend, who was giggling, and looking at Rory. He looked at the girl he considered his daughter at times, and smiled at the blush on her face. Rory really seemed to like Jess.  
All: _"Girl you should be my girlfriend  
Ahh... you make my heart sing  
Ahh... you make my heart sing  
Ahh... my baby, baby, yeah you make my heart sing  
Ahh... girl you should be my girlfriend  
Girl you should be my girlfriend  
Girl you should be my girlfriend  
Girl you should be my girlfriend..."_

And that was the end of the song. The performance was over, and if it was magic, everyone but the people living in Stars Hollow were gone. Like it happened in cliché movies or cliché fanfiction, James thought. But it was okay with him.

"Would you be my girlfriend," Jess asked Rory, almost as if teasing her.

"Of course," she blushed. "Let's go to the bridge for a while."

The teenagers left, leaving two other happy couples in the house, until Luke and Lorelai decided it would be nice to have some private time now and left.

Claire and James were the only ones left in the house, except for Aaron, who was still asleep – amazingly enough.

**AN: Okay, I hope y'all liked that chapter… I finally managed to complete it.. I also hope the next chapter will be done soon, but don't count on that… I have more fics to write… Gilmore Girls fics… Cause I just LOOOOVE Stars Hollow :smile:**

**Anyway, what do you think? Tell me in a review… HINT, HINT**


End file.
